Made Up My Mind. November 5, 2009

I am throwing in the towel, here, folks.  I have really enjoyed writing here over the past few years, but 1) the number of people whom I actually know who read this blog has grown pretty dramatically, 2) I just don’t have that much to write about, and 3) I had an Internet-related issue a few weeks ago related to my ongoing job hunt that made me really paranoid.

HOWEVER.

You still can catch me at Twitter:  if you don’t Twitter, you are missing out.  It’s more than FB status updates, more than what you had for breakfast.  It’s a community of really freaking funny people, plus– indeed– some people telling you what they had for breakfast.  Twitter is really incredibly versatile, and you should sign up for it if you are not on it already.  And either way, you should follow me. 

I’ve also decided to keep kinda-sorta blogging at Tumblr.  It seems like an easier platform, and I kind of want a fresh start:  a blog on which I have not spent the past few years dishing about my personal life.  Which I may still continue to do, just in a slightly more subtle way.  I hope that all of you will join me over there.  New post, up this morning:  I went on a date with Bob Ross.  Remember Bob Ross, from public TV?

OK, so it wasn’t the real Bob Ross, the real Bob Ross is dead.  My Bob Ross is alive.  And much cuter than the original.  But still.  Click over.  Please.

Song(s) of the Day. November 3, 2009

I’m sorry, but that just cracks me up.  And I also kind of love the sentiment, kind of like with the Glamour photo of the chick with a belly. 

“It’s the right love at the wrong time

Guess we’ll have to wait until the summertime

‘Cause it’s the right love at the wrong time

Why’d we have to meet each other in our prime

‘Cause it’s the right love at the wrong time…”

I don’t believe in timing anymore, I don’t think.  For a long time, I did– was positive that certain people could have, would have been right for me if only life circumstances were different, if only we hadn’t been  headed in opposite directions.  And more and more, I’ve come around to thinking that if things are right, they’re right, regardless of circumstances, regardless of timing.  And if things don’t work out the way you expected or hoped that they would, well, they worked out that way for a reason.

But I still love this song.

Still Thinking. October 30, 2009

Hi, there, Internet.  You’re all so sweet.  I still haven’t decided what precisely I’m going to do.  I might Tumblog, I don’t know.  I’m thinking about it, and I’ll keep you all posted.

In the meantime, I ran outside today.  Longer than I’ve gone even on the treadmill, and also up over the Hayes Street Hill.  I left my apartment before seven, which was a victory in and of itself.  It was dark, and I was like, you know what, foot?  WE ARE GOING TO RUN MY FAVORITE ROUTE, SO SUCK IT UP.

I ran the mile to Alamo Square pretty quickly, but the hill hit me hard.  I ran up one side, down another…  and I still felt surprisingly good.  At this point, I’d already run just a slightly shorter distance than I’ve been doing on the treadmill, and I’d done part of it over the nastiest hill in my ‘hood.  I tackled the second ascent.  I reached the top and looked out over downtown sparkling against the gradually brightening sky.  But I did not stop.  I cruised down the second, steep descent…  and by some miracle, I STILL felt good.  Down Scott to Fell, and I pushed through the gradual ascent as I turned back toward the park.  I hit the edge of the Panhandle, and my legs suddenly felt like lead with three-quarters of a mile to go.  Weenie, I thought.  YOU DID NOT RUN UP THAT HILL TWICE JUST TO WIMP OUT NOW.  You are going to finish this run, walking is NOT an option.

And I did finish that run.  I slowed down a little, but I finished it.  2.6 miles at an average 11:29 pace, including two ascents of the Hayes Street Hill as I looped around Alamo Square.  Not stellar, but not awful.  A step in the right direction.  When I finally collapsed outside my front door, I felt a little like I was going to vomit but a lot jubilant. 

All these injuries, they have made me a lot mentally tougher than I used to be.  And also, if this is the one run I get outside this week, then I am going to RUN, dammit!  Or, um, jog.  Whatever.

And once I cooled down and cleaned up, I felt more at peace than I have in weeks.

A Few Changes. October 28, 2009

As you may or may not have noticed, I deleted my archives here today. 

There are a lot of changes in progress over here, and none of them are conducive to keeping my personal life on the Internet.

I’m sorry, Internet.  I still love you.

This doesn’t mean that I’m done, but I’m leaning that way.  I’ll post an update when I’ve given it a little more thought.

Random Music Wednesday. October 28, 2009

I was released from PT this morning, nearly 10 months post-injury.  Dude, I almost hugged my PT, except that he’s this older, slightly hardass guy.  So I didn’t.  And then I went straight to the gym and did another treadmill run, even though I just did one yesterday, and it felt so so good.

On the way to PT and the way from PT to the gym, I listened to a little John Mayer, “Slow Dancing in a Burning Room,” a song on which I am completely and totally hooked at the moment.

It’s not a silly little moment

It’s not the storm before the calm

This is the deep and dying breath of this love that we’ve been working on.

LOVE.  Also, I love the guitar melodies.  This song makes me feel unbelievably relaxed and zen, even in the midst of the chaos I’ve got going on over here.

And I got to the gym and cranked up a little Timbaland (a few of my favorites here, here, here, and here) that eased me through 25 minutes on the treadmill.  Ghetto, yet awesome.  The last one in particular is very much a dance-party-in-your-kitchen kind of song.

It is a good day.

More On Why I Love My Friends. October 27, 2009

Him:  Did you have a good time tonight?

Me:  Yes.    You?

Him:  Of course.

Me:  One of these days, you’ll have plowed through all my single girls, & then I probably will never see you again.

Him:  Never.  You had better not move away.*

Him:  I’d miss you too much.

Me:  Are you drunk?  Or simply worrying I’ll deprive you of single lady connections?? 

Him:  Just would suck if you moved away.

Him:  You are still number one in my book.  Happy b day again.

*Yeah, so…  I can’t remember if I mentioned this before or not, but the odds are good that I might be moving away from San Francisco next summer for a currently unknown destination.  It’s sort of complicated.  And the biggest reason I’ve been kind of MIA here so often lately.

Recap. October 27, 2009

The semi-formal birthday bar crawl on Saturday night turned into a semi-formal stay-in-one-place-and-let-people-buy-you-drinks after too many people showed up to really coordinate moving on to somewhere new in any kind of efficient manner.  This is the best kind of birthday celebration problem to have, frankly.  And second best, by the time we gave any thought to moving on, I was all happy-drunk and didn’t want to be in charge of moving anyone anywhere, much less twenty-some people with drinks in their hands.

It was a completely great night, exactly the kind of birthday I was looking for.  Dinner with Steff at Fresca (ceviche, yum), then nearly all of my favorite people in San Francisco, a little black dress and four inch heels, and lots of delicious birthday drinks that left me feeling happy-drunk.  I was feeling the love.  Seriously, I don’t know how I got this lucky. 

I’m old and sentimental.  I love you, dudes.

“All of These Lines Across My Face.” October 21, 2009

I saw Brandi Carlile in concert last night at the Fillmore, the fourth time I’ve seen her live since I accidentally stumbled across her with Matt almost exactly three years ago when she opened for Shawn Colvin.  She took my breath away that night, said everything I wanted to say to and hear from him.  After he and I broke up, hearing her music made me sad, reminded me of him.  Since then, though, it’s become more for me:  a take-home lesson that we all are stronger than we know. 

I made a couple of CDs for Elyse before the show, and I couldn’t decide what tracks to include.  Every song I clicked on, my immediate response was YES, I love this one!  And her show, although we arrived quite late, was much the same way.

Two old-school favorites she played last night:  “Turpentine” and “The Story“.  But seriously.  Download every track from every album.  You will not be disappointed.

“No Shit, It’s Flooding.” October 19, 2009

Hi, it’s raining here. 

Holy smokes. 

And now I shall go walk home with a broken umbrella.

Slight Break From Being A Hamster. October 19, 2009

I ran outside two times last week.  Wednesday, because it was my birthday, and because I was late to work and didn’t have time for the gym.

And I ran outside Friday evening, did a loop of the Panhandle with a detour finish at the grocery store.  I was tired and hungry by the end of the workday, and the weather was too beautiful to run inside…  and after having had a taste of outdoor running on Wednesday, frankly, I couldn’t bear the thought of going back to the treadmill.

I made an effort to run on the grass to spare my sad little metatarsals, but my ankle firmly did not approve of that idea:  the grass/dirt is pretty much a bumpy disaster zone, and my ankle has been kind of puffy ever since. *

BUT.  Running outside?  Incredible.  I felt all the joy I usually get from running, the joy that’s been missing from all these stupid treadmill runs.  However, I know that I need to be smart, so I packed myself back off to the gym this morning for a 20 minute treadmill run that actually did not feel too bad.  There is an end in sight.  And I needed that, going into last weekend, because it was the weekend that I was supposed to run Nike, the weekend that I had to pick up my race packet and then promptly hand it over to someone else.  That, I will not lie to you, was HARD.  I had a little trouble letting go of the bag with the bib and the timing chip.  But I did it, and having been able to run outside the day before, it made it just a little easier.

Congratulations to all the Nike finishers. 

Upcoming races (next 6 to 8ish months) for which I am intending to have bounced back:

1.  The SkirtSports SkirtChaser 5k, 11/15/09

2.  Run Wild for a Child, 11/29/09

3.  Kaiser Permanente half-marathon, 2/7/10 (or the 5k, if I’m not yet at mileage for a half)

4. Vermont City Marathon, 5/30/10

I CANNOT WAIT.

*The five-inch heels into which I have packed myself today do not really help on this front, either.  I don’t think I have ever been this tall.  At a towering 6′1″, I can see over all the stall dividers in all the ladies’ restrooms at work.  Also, I feel like the air is thinner five inches above my head.  I’m not sure how I feel about being this tall, but these shoes, a pair of Dries van Noten clog/spike heels that were an insane markdown at Nordstrom Rack, oh, they are so beautiful.  And astonishingly comfortable despite my grumpy ankle and the astronomical height of the heel.